I am a simple person,simple tastes,simple dreams and even the words I use are simple,my wish/dream of the kind of a life I wanted to have when I was twenty and has stayed with me since then was of being a mother to a naughty,smart mouth boy and pick him up and drop him to school and on our way back home go grocery shopping with him,very honest,I used to see all these mothers in Japan,cycling with their kids in the seats in front,it was the most endearing sight,which gradually settled in my heart,but then I always assumed that I would not get married to anyone because I don’t like my fellow countrymen,and marrying someone from another country was a scary concept for me,and I was Muslim already so my husband would have to be a Muslim,so I assumed that I’d never have that dropping and picking up kid part in my life ever because without marriage how could I… but I treasured that dream,in love with it,hoping someday I’d meet the right person with whom I could live that dream.who’d let me to…. then miraculously I met Taher,he’s perfect because we follow Islam strictly,even the businesses Taher did,we changed a couple of times because we didn’t want dirty money in our house,we don’t earn a lot,if you follow Islamic rules strictly in these times it is a matter of fact that you cannot make a lot of money,we cannot afford many luxuries but we live well,earn enough to get us through the month while indulging in organic food,our major portion of our expenses is the food we eat,we don’t eat out,only at home,maybe once in a month we’ll eat out because we don’t trust the food we get outside with adulteration and all,also because of Islamic obligations,we don’t trust that we get halal food everywhere,in a day we eat balanced food,eat from every group in the foodchart…dairy,nuts,legumes,carbs,proteins,fruits,vegetables all mostly organic,I stress on organic because it is good for the planet and for health,in my family our health is our very first priority,I drifted from the topic,sorry,so yes,I found Taher who’s a perfect man and perfect Muslim too,Islamic but a bit liberal too,besides Islam always encourages husbands to fulfill their wife’s dreams,so Taher’s perfect,doesn’t smoke or chew tobacco(in India almost everybody does),doesn’t consume alcohol,never has,talks softly,is the best husband,loves me very much,most of our communicating is through telepathy,he knows what I have in mind,most of the time our minds are in sync,which is also bad because nothing really escapes him,he knows when I’m sad or when I’m super excited,basically he’s a great catch and not to mention that he’s very handsome and his fragrance leaves a trail wherever he goes,so yes I got really lucky,but even when we got married I didn’t think my dream was possible because in India Muslim women of good families don’t step out of the house without a male company so I always thought that my dream would remain a dream…and now it’s been six years since I’ve dropped and picked up my sweetheart from school,it’s gone from running to hug me to running away from my ‘missed you’ hug…everyday for the past six years I’ve enjoyed this ritual like only I could,savoured each minute,earlier Abbu was little he used to sit in front of me on the bike and I enjoyed his head near my face,with time he grew and I had his hair right near my mouth and I’d kiss him a hundred times on our 15 minute ride,now he’s so tall that he’s sitting behind me,in the beginning I hated it but then I learnt that when he speaks he speaks right into my ear now and his voice is the sweetest thing,somedays he’ll say something in his sweet voice and I find it irresistible,I stop the bike on the side,squeeze him tight,kiss him ten times then start the bike and resume driving,so utterly beautiful his voice is….so each day I got to spend a total of an hour and a half with him,life was beautiful,my dream I lived for six years ….and yesterday was his first day in the fifth grade but now his school’s branch has changed,from fifth he has to go to school a bit far,because from fifth grade his school has this massive cricket ground,tennis ground,basketball court and football ground all the same size as the grown up professionals play so obviously to accomodate all that it has to be far from the centre of the city,though that area is more densely populated now mainly because of the school,it still is far from my place,it took me an hour and a half in the morning to drop him and the same when I went to pick him up,my three hours vanished like that.His school has bus services but it was always my dream to take him and bring him back remember,God knows how much I cherish these rides with my love,but at this point in my life giving two hours is a massive contribution,these morning schools which last this whole month I’ll be living my dream but after the holidays in May,from June maybe I’ll have to give up my dream,I don’t know,we’re still thinking,it is too emotionally taxing for me to give this together time up,it’s the only time we’re really together…it’s sad that they grow right,with each day he slips in to his world farther away from me,I dreamt of him even before I knew love and now time takes him away from me…I dread giving this time together up,I hate it,maybe I’ll have to but I’m still thinking of working it out to accomodate this time into my routine only God knows how I’ll manage the rest,time will tell….
on a lighter note…I asked Abbu to tell me one word which describes me best he said
‘coldhearted’ my heart broke,when asked why he thinks that,he replied “because you don’t talk to anybody and because you never cry”…after a minute he says I have another word ‘hothearted’ I asked how,replied “because you’re always angry,your eyes are always burning with anger,red hot” …I thought to myself “wow,a year ago I was kindhearted Mother Teresa” but I guess I changed or he changed …then again says “I have another word….’very beautiful’,I think you are the prettiest woman in the world” I blushed and thought “Wow,that changed too” ….a year ago Abbu would always say that he doesn’t find me pretty,he used to say that Taher is blind to love me for Taher can get a way better looking wife than me …I guess Abbu sure can see better now ..heehee..
also this new year new teacher thing gets to me,the child has to adapt again,impress again,sad it makes me,but I’m looking forward to learning French with him,which is in his syllabus as third language from this year,I’m excited about learning with him.So this year brings a lot of changes with it,changes and adaptation the two things I hate most.
©Seema Tabassum 2016
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