today is bad again
I’m reminded of us
of you and your indifference

today is bad again
that we can never talk
hurts and kills me the distance

today is bad again
it cuts me to think that even
from hating me you refrained

today is bad again
that you chose not to say a word
that you chose silence

BUT

today is good
I remember how you felt sad that
I didn’t understand you
you showed your vulnerability

today is good
reminded of the day you said that
you haven’t met anyone before who
misinterprets you so ruthlessly

today is good
I’m breathing again
after a really long time
I hear my heartbeat again loudly

so today comes to me in
waves of you cold and warm
I still hate you
like I can hate only your form
like only you deserve that hate
I’d do anything to keep alive this hate
recall all the things you didn’t say
you didn’t ever say
hate that you I perfectly read
but you chose to change how it meant

today is good
my heartbeat screams your name again
bouts of you
today’s both sunshine and rain

©Seema Tabassum 2016
©http://lifeshues.org 2016
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