today was hell
and so was
yesterday
and so is
everyday

I wonder why
I don’t
remember
your words

I wonder why
I deleted those
from my head

those had
kept me going

your last words
made no sense
at all
numb is all
I remember
numb??
yes but
why numb?

I regret
deleting
your words
from my head
now I
cannot recall
why I hate you
I need to though

I hate how you
were so
indifferent
absent
never present
but I
remember none

that was torture
no words

this is torment too
not remembering
anything

I told you
you’d fade
now you do

I wonder why
I let you

your last words
made no sense
at all
just conveyed
you let me
bother you some

I remember
only that
that you
let me bother
you some

I wish
I didn’t forget
didn’t trust
myself much

I wish
I remembered

now I
don’t know
what will
fuel me

the anger
subsides

the love
long overpowered
by your
indifference

so what remains
now that
your words
are gone too

give me back
those words
come back again
just leave those
words on my
desk and
go forever

be numbed

just give me
my words

your words
for me
those exact
words
which showed
some signs

some signs
of my effect
on you
which is
precious again
my effect?
numb?

you numb
or me numb?
give those
exact words
and leave
I regret
letting
you slip
from my memory

with you gone
from my mind
my thoughts
are now nomads
homeless and cold

give those
last words
and leave

last words

your last words
please

you make me numb?
was it?
misinterpret with indifference?
was it?
no one misunderstands worse?
was it?

give me those words
I promise
I’ll ask nothing else
nothing else

your last words
to keep this
wreck that is
me going
to fuel me
to help me
go about my days

©Seema Tabassum 2016
©http://lifeshues.org 2016
All content and images copyright 2016
All rights reserved

picture courtesy : pixabay.com