Tomorrow is my hubby’s birthday and this is me reliving last year…this post is last year’s but I have to put it on this new blog so I can document it here…besides I get to relive last year and my hubby and my love story again,for those who I’ve made friends with recently this is a glimpse into my life and my story(if you are interested that is 🙂
Next Tuesday,is my hubby’s birthday,he’ll turn 40!!! cannot believe that cause he doesn’t look 40 from any angle(smiles).
It’s unbelievable now,when we first met he was only 26 and we were like teenagers,crazy in love,we both quit our jobs to be able to meet everyday and in Japan that means disaster,well he quit and I was fired for not showing up at work for weeks at end…..more on our story later….so I thought I’ll make this special for him and have planned dates for us this whole week,we have to make time,hopefully we do.
Today was movie date,Taher(hubby) and Abbu(son) had already seen this on the day it released here,I couldn’t go then so poor Taher had to watch it twice 🙂 the movie was ‘Mission Impossible -Rogue Nation’ …now I love action movies plus Mission Impossible inspires me,who doesn’t like one.Loved the movie,date without Abbu’s constant chatter was great for a change.This week I am going to put up some old posts of mine, poems I wrote for Taher earlier.So please bear with me,ofcourse I’ll put up new ones too.I am going to log/document this week,for Abbu to read later.So date it was and that date reminds me of this ‘Over The Years’
I told you yesterday about Taher’s b’day next week,he turns forty hence my little attempt at making it special for him.We don’t celebrate birthdays or throw a party on that day or cut a cake,because it is unIslamic but I can write,right? Whenever we feel like eating cake we buy one and eat it and make it as if we are celebrating someone’s b’day.Weird?? maybe from where you stand but to us it makes perfect sense…heehee
So,yes we went on a date today too didn’t have much time so had South Indian coffee and dosa at a place where we used to visit as kids too,he with his Dad,me with mine.Now that brings amazement everytime I think,we both met in Japan,oceans apart from home but we are from the same city,isn’t it miraculous,I find it so.I could have met anybody,from another country maybe or another city from India but I met Taher who not only is from the same city as me but also his paternal side and my maternal side are distant relatives,really distant though.I’m going to treat this as a miracle regardless of what you think…heehee
Okay more on our story later,another fascinating thing about us is we communicate telepathically,no lies,when i’m craving for icecream he’ll bring or when i’m about to call him,he does, innumerable things in a day,so much so that I get disappointed when we fail to connect,somedays he’ll come home and I’ll wonder why he didn’t bring the thing I wanted and when I ask him he reminds me that he didn’t get any call from me asking him to bring anything,so I should not expect but rather call,I know I should but I trust he’ll automatically know 🙂
That is that,I feel and always say and believe that if Taher ever leaves he’ll take all the colours with him,he will,but I hope not to see a day without him.
Already date three,since we get time only in the mornings,we don’t have many choices,we went on a coffee date again,yes,but I am loving this,shows how hard it is to make time,our schedules are a mess because of these dates,life is so complicated and closely woven that it is impossible to move from the norm without tearing a little part of it’s hem I’d say.To show we care needs effort,make an effort we should to show we care,just presuming,taking for granted and waiting for the other to make the move is stupid.
Making the first move,I always do,maybe because I am impatient,and if you have someone as marvellous as Taher at stake you don’t risk that,looked bad maybe but I couldn’t stand to wait another day.Our story started over the phone,I had a friend who worked with me in a place far from Tokyo and he was friends with Taher too,every now and then he’d go to visit Taher who lived in Tokyo,he didn’t have a mobile so he left me with a number to call in case of emergencies and that number happened to be Taher’s.
One day I needed to speak with my friend and I called on Taher’s number.It was Taher who answered and he spoke like he does,in his beautiful voice,true gentleman,soft spoken and kind,didn’t take me long to fall hard but luckily he found my voice and me good too,we had to meet,ofcourse I asked him to,he did and fell I did deeper into the hole that is love because his looks just knocked me out,floored me and whatever, luckily Taher liked how I looked too,tells me till date that I never have looked more beautiful that I did that day….more on our story later….
Fourth date,yes,but no date because Friday is super busy,should be for a Muslim,Fridays only for gaining Allah’s mercy,Friday late afternoon till night is reserved for my mother dearest so Friday was a no date day.
Friday is very special to Muslims,it’s sacred,so we obviously got married on a Friday only it was 14th February,I know,we thought it would be nice to get married on Valentine’s day,but that remains the biggest regret,I was still learning Islam so wasn’t really aware of how I marred the sanctity of our marriage by choosing a frivolous date.But I guess when you are young you don’t think much.
But we kind of made up for the blunder of the date by keeping our ceremony really low on wastage,our wedding was the humblest ever,exactly according to how it should be in Islam,unlike the big Indian weddings which we see here in India,such pomp,grandeur,wastage these weddings have come to symbolise,so much against the teachings of Islam and yes I’m talking about Muslim weddings too.In the crazy amount of money that is spent in these celebrations in which only the people who eat well everyday are invited,a hundred poor people can be fed for a week atleast,if not for a month,I am very adamant that Abbu have a wedding as simple as our’s without music,grand dias or elaborate delicacies.
May Allah bless my kid brother,his wedding too was perfect according to Islam,as humble as mine.I respect him lots for that,such a simpleton he is,everyday I thank Allah that he gave me a brother who thinks like me and is virtuous and religious,kind,generous and always puts others first and is friendly with everybody,here I lack some,I always have been the kind to put myself first but I learn humbly through my sweethearts,my husband and my brother,ofcourse from my Mom too.Unfortunately Abbu is always with me and is picking up this putting myself first trait rather well,somedays I hate that and somedays it looks perfect because of the kind of world we are living in,but I too am very kind,sensitive towards others’ feelings,thoughtful,never say a harsh word unless I am provoked by stupidity I see in people here….I drifted from the topic again,as always,sorry.
Now you already know I was the one who pursued Taher,I had to,I couldn’t stand losing a gem and now in hindsight I did perfect I say.
Fifth date,Saturday Abbu is home so we three headed out for snack,since it was only 11 a.m,Taher has time only till noon or if stretched till 1p.m so all our dates,always are early morning dates,somedays we drop Abbu at school and have breakfast some place,and head back home.As for what we eat,not much choice nowadays,we have stopped eating at any international fast-food chain,we used to occasionally have a burger or pizza,but MacDonald’s,KFC,Pizza Hut and Domino’s we never visit now because it has come to light that these chains don’t necessarily serve Halal food.So we are left with our good old Indian fare.Saturday we had ‘dabeli’ Indian vegetarian burger.It has potato in it,quite good,we like.
In Japan Taher and I used to have lunch at an Italian restaurant named ‘Rubicone’ and the lasagna the husband-wife duo served was other-worldly.The other day I was telling you how we quit work when we met,now I’ll tell you why.
We met the first time and Tokyo was far from where I lived,had to wait till the weekend to meet again,now the second time we roamed the streets of Shinjuku all night,then the first train back home halted at the platform,I didn’t want to go back home,away from Taher,so he offered to come with me on the ride for company,said he’ll see me off at my station/destination.Those three hours we spent were not enough too,then finally when it was time for me to get down I offered to give Taher company on his ride to Tokyo and I am not bluffing or exagerrating,we spent that Sunday on the train,back and forth from my town to Tokyo from Tokyo to my town,in circles,like crazy and finally the last train dropped us off at a station in Tokyo,the next morning the same thing continued and we were spending all our time on trains,we’d make a point to have lunch at this place I mentioned above,it was my favourite place in my town,Taher fell in love with the food too and we had lunch there everyday,the owners of that restaurant became good friends with us,I called them even after I returned to India.So,I was saying that we used to get down at the station,head to this place almost fifteen minutes of walking through wheat fields,and this was October so not very cold yet,perfect it was,the train rides,the walks,the food,the weather,now when I recall it feels like a dream,we did this crazy thing till we both ran out of money,Taher had quit work to be with me,I was fired for not showing up at work for weeks now and the savings we had,frankly I had very little,were all finished and we were jolted back to reality,a harsh one though.So isn’t that crazy,we were crazy,crazy in love.
Sometimes I wonder if I remember right ,if it’s my mind’s fabrication but Taher reassures me that it’s not,if someone told me this story about their life I’d never believe because it is hard to believe that we could be so mesmerised,spell bound by each other,but it’s true,that craziness is not super crazy anymore but it shows up from time to time especially flares up when the moon is full…heehee…more later..
Taher was very much my Peace Taker,I didn’t know peace till after a really long time
Sixth date,I cannot believe we are doing this,felt impossible but we are,taking a toll it is and Taher cannot wait for this to end,says it’s his birthday but I am enjoying,true in a sense.This day being Sunday Abbu was with us,Sundays are even more busier for Taher so we had South Indian food for brunch,not far from my place,so it was feasible but Taher was constantly looking at his watch and the darn phone wouldn’t stop ringing.Now Taher here is so used to being aloof that this must be feeling like a pain in the neck.Aloof because my poor husband gets no time to spend with us,his business requires him to work seven days a week.Taher takes a holiday only twice a year,that is on Eid,festivals of Islam.So I do pretty much everything in my house,grocery shopping,picking up and dropping Abbu at school,his projects I do,ofcourse cook,clean,laundry,though in India we can hire maids,I refuse to have one more person intruding my space,besides I have trust issues,I have this notion that no one does anything perfect like me,and these people make no effort to prove me wrong,so I do all that,then my blog,and the Hall of Poets(moderator in a poetic community online),and Abbu’s entertainment,me,dessert dates me,movie dates Taher though,sometimes I tag along,weekly date with my mother,it’s all jam packed,so basically I’m running my house and Taher the source that funds this organised chaos that my house is,everything runs smoothly till we have to take out time for something else,even weddings are a burden and so many because Taher’s family is not a family,a gigantic clan,very close to each other,Taher lived in a joint family for 21years with four uncles and aunts,twenty one cousins,makes me dizzy even thinking about the noise.
Now that could be a boon and a bane,I am from a nuclear family for most part,so cannot understand why anybody would live in a joint family,I cannot fathom having another kid just thinking of the noise Abbu and the little one will make,I can live without hearing a single sound for ages,I like listening to myself I guess.
So,when we wanted to get married it was a big deal,a thunder lightning struck Taher’s house,because a)in India even today love marriages are rare and looked down upon,joint families all the more hard to get consent from and b)no one knew anything about me because I was in Japan,no way they could accept someone who they didn’t even see,oh the trouble,the heartache,the dilemma for Taher,and my mother gave me no respite either,but I had to deal with only Mom,my brother was little to even question.On Taher’s side only his Mom trusted his choice and we had no choice but to get married with only his mother’s consent,Taher is the youngest of five brothers and after Taher’s father’s demise when Taher was only 14 years old,his eldest brother who is ten years older than Taher became the head of the house and Taher could never even utter a word to his brother,it was only after a year did he muster courage to tell his brother about our marriage,I somehow after much begging and after much crying from my mother convinced her to trust my choice,much drama our marriage created,and sent shockwaves in Taher’s household.When I came to India carrying Abbu in me,we were already three years into marriage and I was received warmly by Taher’s family,though we don’t live in a joint family we are always meeting,Taher’s brothers live in the same building as us and I have to say they changed my perception of them,never intrude our space,always call before coming which is also only twice a year,rest of the time Abbu and I go visit them from time to time,I feel proud of Taher’s family too,all gentlemen,his brothers give me loads of respect for how I manage my house and how I place no burden on Taher,my eyes well up just thinking how much love Taher’s nephews and brothers shower me with,special mention to my eldest sis-in-law(Taher’s brother’s wife) who treats me like her sister,warmly and shows me love she reserves only for some.Pretty much the fairy tale it turned out to be,Taher and my story and Abbu is the gift that completes this story.And here on my Mom’s side,my gosh,Taher is the son and I the daughter-in-law,my mother loves Taher more than she loves me and thinks that Taher doesn’t deserve a lunatic like me,Taher meanwhile loves the love my mother has for him and is very much her son now,especially because Taher lost his mother just a fortnight after Abbu was born and he couldn’t even be beside her in her last days,in my mother he sees his and that leaves me in a really cold place except for Taher’s warmth,poor guy he takes my side when my mother shouts at me if I get carried away,Taher is the balance in my life,keeps pulling me back from my obsessive compulsive world,reminds me of what needs to be done,prevents me from getting sucked up into my own world,I need Taher to keep me functioning but he also lets me be,somedays I am left alone all to myself to bring back some sanity to me ..yes pretty much equal contribution from both of us,I work on my house,he works on what needs repairing in me,MashaAllah I cannot be thankful enough to Allah,for I am blessed.Our life has seen a lot of struggle but nothing we cannot get over together.InshaAllah.
I am bound forever with this ‘one in the whole world guy’ and I love that,I love to belong to him,I consider myself fortunate.
Date Seven,yes we did really manage to go on a date everyday for a week,unbelievable,we almost crawled our way through it,but that’s okay as long as we get to eat dessert..heehee.We don’t celebrate on the actual birthday so we did go out with Abbu for this last family date.We had a good time except Abbu acts really smart when he’s with his Dada,but I chose to ignore that.I have all the time in the world to tackle him once we’re done with this.Now don’t the desserts look yummy,white chocolate something(I forgot),chocolate fudge and Mango panacotta,this was the best.
This past week was fun,chaotic,hectic,everyday a blogpost is a massive feat for me because I do that on a phone,have yet to buy a computer,whenever I am about to,something else comes up which demands priority and my computer is further pushed away, it is pretty tough blogging on a phone,I can say without a doubt that it’s only me who does this,perseverance at it’s height,I didn’t know I had so much patience before I started blogging.I also believe in self praise and patting my own back because I persevere without a frown and everyone assumes it’s effortless,I make it look easy.So yes I clap for myself and take a bow myself and thank myself for clapping for me.I very much am crazy,I never said otherwise,never denied.
The whole concept of making this special would be incomplete without a suitable gift and gift I did.Taher and I are not those clingy couples who shop together and frankly with Taher it’s difficult,he’ll wear a certain fit and might never choose that fit again,so I never gift him anything,this year I was going to gift him a G-shock watch because the one he had broke but since the minute he saw this new Samsung S6 edge phone he’s been going on about how sleek it looks and how he wants it bad.I had saved money,ofcourse his money which he gives me as pocket money,I had saved a year’s and had enough to pay half of the mobile’s /cell’s money and he was mighty surprised when I gave him the huge amount,he added the other half and bought his favourite Samsung S6 edge,ofcourse he went and bought it himself,offered me to go with him but I know that he’ll select only what he likes,so I decined.In all, I’d like to think that I made it really special for him with this as icing on the cake.I had fun recalling the past and my life is a series of unbelievable and I am glad to be able to share with all,just incase someone is standing where I was ages ago hoping for a miracle to happen.I through my story would want to be able to bring some hope and magic to someone’s life.Thank you for being a part of this by playing the biggest part,the reader without whom all this would be incomplete.Though I started this only for Abbu but along this journey have made some incredible friends,this was for all my friends old and new,real and virtual with whom I wanted to share my story.Thank you for your time and patience.God bless.
©Seema Tabassum 2015
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