Category: Silver Linings(Personal) (page 1 of 10)

Someone Special (micro poem)

Someone special is he who stays forever and Daddy does, in many hearts.

This year September 17th was my father’s 23rd Death Anniversary and it never gets easy, I wonder how can it not, how even after so many years, even after forgetting how his voice sounded, I haven’t healed any. I sometimes wonder if subconsciously I don’t want to, but then it is not in my hands that I cannot forget or recall, I wish it was, I would change how it cripples me to think of his sudden death, his last minutes of his life all alone in a pool of blood and struggle marks on his always well polished brown boots haunt me forever, maybe if he had died in front of me or died because of ill health I wouldn’t miss him much, I am not sure but I do wonder.
Thinking about his last minutes, wondering if death came easy, if he was unconscious when he died or if he was conscious and in great pain with difficulty breathing, wondering if it was even an accident, I cannot, just cannot breathe, I don’t mean to put it all out here, I try to keep it light but then it all comes back to me and I suffer, I don’t expect all to understand but it hurts like hell, I live in a dark place in spite of light around me, his loss, his absence, his death, his words will haunt me forever, maybe haunt is not even the right word, he will forever live in my breaths here, forever, maybe it will make him happy to see how profound an effect he had on me, maybe he lives through me.
As for me I just hope and wish he knows that to me this world has a gigantic hole without him, that he is still someone’s most treasured.
I have been putting off writing this, just his thought, his name and my world scatters again. He was and will always be most special, special maybe because I know so little of him, an enigma my father is and my interest in knowing all of him will never subside, he’ll always remain a mystery, a void in my existence …

Some people come and never leave …
some people leave to never come …
some take a place in your heart …
some take the whole heart with them
leaving behind just a pumping lump …

©Seema Tabassum 2015
©lifeshues.org 2015
All images and content copyright 2015
All rights reserved.

P.S. I have told you in one of my recent posts that I will be putting pictures of my art journal(not really great) here along with the posts and so I have, only poetry is not art enough to me I’ve discovered. Kindly take a nice look at my journal, it smiles when someone looks at it’s pages, you’ll make it and me happy, and I will hopefully get better at this journaling with a little practice and trial and error so please bear with me, thank you.

To read another post on some personal stuff, on how drowning feels kindly click here. Thank you.
I hope you like my work and if you do please leave a comment, my website is self-hosted so the regular like button and some features are missing, until you leave me words I won’t know if you liked my poetry, so please, but only if you are compelled by my words to. Welcome to my world and I hope to see you again. Thank you.

Interlude (poem)

Interlude was written for my hubby (not for his birthday though), I do love and cherish all that he does for us, so this poem was just to let him know how much I appreciate his presence, his love and the hard work he does to keep our family running, I know that words are never enough but maybe for once words will express more than actions, hopefully(fingers crossed).

I stacked a few clouds
and adjusted them …
with a few more clouds I sewed a blanket …
my weathered heart tonight needed something heavenly
soft and cosy to comfort my broken …
only soft light-toned fluffy clouds stood a chance …
soft fluffy heavenly clouds …
and his calloused palms

©Seema Tabassum 2017
©lifeshues.org 2017
All images and content copyright 2017
All rights reserved.

To read another post on some personal stuff kindly click here. Thank you.
I hope you like my work and if you do please leave a comment, my website is self-hosted so the regular like button and some features are missing, until you leave me words I won’t know if you liked my poetry, so please, but only if you are compelled by my words to. Welcome to my world and I hope to see you again. Thank you.

A Small Note For His Birthday

August 25th was my husband’s 42nd birthday, as luck would have it my internet connection was bad that day, then the birthday was belated and as always I was lost doing other stuff and posting this note for his birthday got delayed. Also I haven’t been around, I was busy with Instagram and life and a new hobby, journaling, I love doing creative stuff, only poetry was not fun enough I guess, so I did some art and fell for the process, hopefully from now on all my posts are going to have pictures of my journal page on which the poem in the post will be written, I hope you find this good enough, of course there is a lot to learn and practice, so please bear with me, thank you very much.
This is kind of a letter or a poem addressed to my hubby or talking about my hubby, I don’t know, this is what I wrote and I am putting this up because this was pure emotion, I didn’t edit anything, just put it the way it came to me.
Below this is a video of my honey riding an Enfield 350cc bike, I love watching him ride it, also reminds me of my father, he used to ride an Enfield too, so I am fangirling over my hubby in the video and always (smiles) …

this Urdu song from an Indian movie fits perfectly in our story, Masha Allah, rough translation to the song in the background is as follows (I don’t claim to be an expert) :
what has life conspired
all my heart’s desires have come true …
one wish I had and it reached you my God
how did you hear my silence my God …
this obsession of mine has brought me near to you …
this obsession is mercy from you my God …

a friend of mine wrote a poem about someone who’s child like and caring and instantly my mind is drawn to you, to the things you love, your gentle hands that pour out love when they touch my face, I can feel the love in your veins, how you water that plant of your’s diligently and even when you are away you worry about it, how your eyes light up each time you see a leaf of it sprouting, how you are more of a mother to Abbu, how you worry if he’s safe and if he ate, how you clean your stuff and how you love our things just like I do, how you fall in love with everything I bring home and how you bring stuff for home even if we can’t spare an inch of space, how our dreams are the same, how you’ve changed over the years to accommodate me, how you’ve dyed yourself in colours of me, how you’ve painted me in your beautiful colours, how you are so athletic, reflexive and nimble, how you are so soft spoken and intensely funny, how you crack me up, how you mimic people, how you are such a riot, how you don’t show that you’re tired even after a long day, how you see us and your face lights up, how you are constantly giving and giving yourself in a million ways, how you tell me that you love my writing most. I could go on but I love most that you are you, love you honey …

©Seema Tabassum 2017
©lifeshues.org 2017
All images and content copyright 2017
All rights reserved.

To read another post which I posted last year for his birthday kindly click here. Thank you.
I hope you like my work and if you do, kindly leave a comment, my website is self-hosted so the regular like button and some features are missing, until you leave me words I won’t know if you liked my poetry, so please, but only if you are compelled by my words to. Welcome to my world and I hope to see you again. Thank you.

Inkomplete Without You (poem)

Inkomplete Without You

I made a quill of my eyelashes
and wrote on the ground on which you walk …
hoping the tears and ink and blood
will make you in your footsteps stop …
but you walked all over my poetry
and left footprints in ink …
now I am going to frame our work
it’s a masterpiece under sensibilities’ draping…
my ink…your footprints

©Seema Tabassum 2016
©lifeshues.org 2016

This poem is to celebrate today, for today I complete three years of my blogging gig and it is special and though I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be when last year I celebrated two years of blogging, I definitely am way ahead than where I thought I’d be when I first started out…..ahead in the sense, I learnt a ton from all you amazing people.
I have to thank each one of you here for your love, inspiration, kindness, motivation, words, poems, time and every single ‘like’ on anything I wrote, thanks a ton for your friendship, means a lot to me, I hope to stay here and be able to contribute more, read and learn and grow more, please stay with me on this journey, love this place for I met you here.
THANKS A MILLION for every kind and generous gesture, grateful eternally.
(would like to add I am no artist but I felt like drawing, found this beautiful picture of a painting on Pinterest and drew that here)

P.S. Inkomplete, the poem and sketch were done last year on the same day but I didn’t share it here, I had to today.

UPDATING (poem)

…UPDATING…
I’m constantly running…
without a minute for me to stop…
can switch myself off to numb…
for numb is easy and emotions cripple…
so I run scared that if I don’t
I might end up feeling…
and I know feeling won’t be easy…
feeling will become overwhelming…
but there comes a moment
when I to the noise inside me succumb…
it grows a mouth and roars
and it’s teeth rip my heart…
in that moment I stand in front of
all my demons…
they crush and wrench my soul…
squeeze the numbness out of me…
throw me into an abyss…
where I lay in my own filth…
lay till my bones soak it all in it…
lay there immobile
till all the soaked up fluid
evaporates from my pores…
I am currently in that abyss
when all that paralyses me comes back to me…
is staring me in the eye
and I lay helpless…
it will take a while to be able
to go about my day normally…
to be up and running
to be able to see sunshine…
to be able to smile…
I’ll be back soon…
till then I hope you miss me
and read me again…
and most of all I hope you stay…
for it was really hard getting you
to see me in the first place…
we shall soon meet in our poetry…
I won’t be long I swear…
till then take care…


This app that is me…
has come to a halt suddenly…
has stopped running…
the numbness has rusted
and it’s back to feeling…
the steel needs a little polishing…
this app needs a little updating…
in a while will be back to feeling nothing…
so kindly wait till the process is complete…

©Seema Tabassum 2017
©http://lifeshues.org 2017
All content and images copyright 2017
All rights reserved.

*I know I haven’t replied to your comments in a while, I will do that as soon as I’m back, I promise, thank you for your friendship and patience, grateful eternally.

To read another post on what goes through my head kindly click here. Thank you.
My website is self-hosted I don’t have the regular features where you can just like my poem, so I request you to leave a word or two so I may know if you liked my post, thank you for stopping by, most appreciate your time.

Older posts

© 2017 Life's Hues

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑