UPDATING (poem)

…UPDATING…
I’m constantly running…
without a minute for me to stop…
can switch myself off to numb…
for numb is easy and emotions cripple…
so I run scared that if I don’t
I might end up feeling…
and I know feeling won’t be easy…
feeling will become overwhelming…
but there comes a moment
when I to the noise inside me succumb…
it grows a mouth and roars
and it’s teeth rip my heart…
in that moment I stand in front of
all my demons…
they crush and wrench my soul…
squeeze the numbness out of me…
throw me into an abyss…
where I lay in my own filth…
lay till my bones soak it all in it…
lay there immobile
till all the soaked up fluid
evaporates from my pores…
I am currently in that abyss
when all that paralyses me comes back to me…
is staring me in the eye
and I lay helpless…
it will take a while to be able
to go about my day normally…
to be up and running
to be able to see sunshine…
to be able to smile…
I’ll be back soon…
till then I hope you miss me
and read me again…
and most of all I hope you stay…
for it was really hard getting you
to see me in the first place…
we shall soon meet in our poetry…
I won’t be long I swear…
till then take care…


This app that is me…
has come to a halt suddenly…
has stopped running…
the numbness has rusted
and it’s back to feeling…
the steel needs a little polishing…
this app needs a little updating…
in a while will be back to feeling nothing…
so kindly wait till the process is complete…

©Seema Tabassum 2017
©http://lifeshues.org 2017
All content and images copyright 2017
All rights reserved.

*I know I haven’t replied to your comments in a while, I will do that as soon as I’m back, I promise, thank you for your friendship and patience, grateful eternally.

To read another post on what goes through my head kindly click here. Thank you.
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3 Comments

  1. I know this hasn’t been easy for you to reach out to your online friends, to tell them your thoughts. And truthfully, this hasn’t been easy for me either, they never know exactly what my messages are about.

    Here is a series of progressive thoughts I have, tweets I have put out, each one are my wanderings, perhaps arriving at that precious moment reaching out to my online friends, actually meeting them. This will be a wonderful momentous occasion.

    • What Are the chances I haven’t met you yet, but should, I should meet you.

    • What Are the chances I haven’t been reacquainted with you yet, but should, I should meet you after such a long stretch of absenteeism?

    •What’s the chances I should follow these city politicians but don’t. I should follow the pulpit minister but don’t, tractor sells man, etc.

    •What Are my chances of getting reacquainted with you, I should like to meet you, you know, after such a long period of absenteeism.

  2. Sounds like you are working on being connected again. No worries, we are always here. Happy to see you and waiting for you when you go. Just take care of yourself and write your heart out if it helps you. I don’t know where if be without it.

  3. Hello Seema?
    How are you ?
    We are waiting for your response.
    Will include in the Anthology the entry you’ve submitted in the Theme Event

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